Why is it so bloody hard to at least maintain life's momentum? Is not that I have so much concerns unhappiness and such on life and humanity but because it's just me. I don't know how to handle me now. I have not been handling me infact. I let it have it's way but just sometimes it doesn't seems to
Go in the right track. I can't say I have not been happy but I can't also say I am happy. Fact is because I am
Not genuine happy. I do smile I laugh but I know very much all these are so much on the surface only. I do miss the kinda natural happy thing I used to produce but why do it seems so vague now where had it really gone to? I have been constantly worried, on a daily basis. I can't stop myself from being afraid worried and simply just live as it is today only. I try very hard to continuously remind myself. Sometimes i succeed, sometimes I don't . I know very well the roller coaster tracks my emotions have been running, but it just seems that I can't take over the control of my damn life. It's really in a mess. Theres so much things I wanna do, theres so many books I wanna read, research I wanna do, time I wanna spent with my family & myself.i am not ranting, not. I'm just wondering, why hasn't life be really fair for my family and I. Why?
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